He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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