sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
All the doctor said was why
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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