we're chasing vodka with high fives
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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