so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Randomize
