I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize