sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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