Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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