So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I feel like death gave me a hand job
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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