me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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