I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
