Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize