Ambien. No doubt about it.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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