Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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