Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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