Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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