i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
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We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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