I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
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I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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