I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I am mentally ready for anal.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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