I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
nutella sex= disaster
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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