You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
