i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
