we're blogging at a bar
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
