I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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