It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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