I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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