Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Someone shattered a urinal.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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