She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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