i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
