you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
