i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
