I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
