so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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