You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
