Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
