when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize