So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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