all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize