Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
