Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
