You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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