Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
