You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
