wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
