i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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