It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
how drunk are you?
Several
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
