If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
