I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
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It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
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I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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