I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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