that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
