You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
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a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
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she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.