I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
