Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize