at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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