he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
