I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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