you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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