Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
