I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
