Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
