it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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