dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
