Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
