btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
