Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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