Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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