I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
