i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
